You’re probably here because you want to give day game a crank and you’re too lazy or tightfisted to get one of Krauser’s books. If this is the case, then you’re a fool, but then again, if you read this blog I guess we’re already firm on that.
There’s a lot that has been written about day game. So much that it can be overwhelming. You fill your head full of ideas and then come the day you can’t remember North from South. So here I am keeping it really simple for you. What follow are the foundational steps of day-game as I see them. Do competently what I tell you here and you will be better than most other guys out there. I see them when I am out and about. Minor league players, talking too fast and getting nowhere fast.
Remember these four simple steps. Within these steps live a myriad of tried and trusted techniques that you can bog yourself down with at a later date. But if you want to be a competent beginner, just remember:
The first two stages are mostly functional with minimal game, the second two are where you get to go to work and have some fun.
You see a girl somewhere and you want to talk to her. The first thing you have to do is stop her or ‘open’ her. There are various competing techniques out there but the only thing you really need to worry about is simply getting her listen to you for a few seconds. That’s the goal of the stop.
Saying ‘excuse me’ and filling her field of vision, getting her to make eye contact with you and listen to you. Don’t chase her.
You give a very short, succinct and clear reason for the introduction, which should be some variant of ‘I’m talking you because I like you’.
Don’t ramble or repeat. Speak slowly and surely, with eye contact and a smile, proud in the knowledge that you already have bigger balls than most other men.
Then pause and let her say thank you. Usually, if she’s speaking, it is best to let her speak. Don’t plough ahead if you don’t have to. If she’s talking, she’s investing so let her invest.
She may ask why you like her, so have in your back pocket a good reason. But don’t say it if she doesn’t ask. Don’t dwell on her positives too much too soon.
That’s it. That’s the stop. Get her to give you 10 seconds so you can move onto the stack.
Yes there’s more to think about, such as tonality, body language, sub-communication etc. Yes the first three minutes can be crucial in terms of the likelihood of success. All things we can worry about later when you have stopped 100 to 200 girls.
A stack is a conversational shift from one topic to another. You can stack at any time you like and will likely do it many times in a set, but I am talking here about a specific point at which you’ll find it particularly useful to stack. You’ve got her to stop, she knows you like her, but you don’t want to dwell on that. Usually, dwelling on her greatness doesn’t go down too well.
Your only job after the stop is to rope her into a conversation and the stack is the little distraction that moves us away from the stop and baits her into a conversation. Stop, then stack.
A good stack has hooks built in that invite questions and conversation. A good example of a nice hooky stack is:
‘But, I have a hunch, you’re not a local girl, you’re a bit different’.*
The reason this can work so well is that there are some very compelling hooks in that line which provide the potential to open up into bigger conversational topics.
She is now baited to clear up that she ‘is local actually’ or ‘my God you’re right, I am a visitor, how could you tell’. It doesn’t matter, straight away, you’re in conversation. You’re just trying to get the conversation started.
‘No, you’re wrong, I’ve lived here all my life, my family are all from Camden’.
Do you want to talk about her family? Camden? A story you have about Camden? Tease her about being a North Londoner when South Londoners are cooler? Whatever you choose, can you see how you’re now not not stuck for interesting paths to go down.
‘Camden! Boom, the Lock Tavern. Drunk in the summer by the river. That pub has almost killed me so many times’.
‘The Lock Tavern, you’re so 2014. All the best bands play at the Water Rats now.’ Boom. That’s a conversation.
If the stack doesn’t work, then stack again. Practice and learn three or four hooky stacks than you can cycle as you bait her to move into the Converse stage. Remember you’re not trying to game here, you’re just trying to get a conversation going. That’s your only goal. Move from stack to converse. You’re just trying to find a hooky stack that will buy you a few minutes of rich conversation.
*Sooner or later someone is going to ask ‘what’s different about me’. So have a good answer. Try to have something that isn’t just another overt compliment. Something a bit push pull. Say with a smile, ‘Londoners are style obsessed, you’re a bit more girl next door’. ‘Belgrade girls are tall and slim, you’re short and cute’. Or if they’re tall, ‘Belgrade girls all small and cute, you’re long and lanky’.
Getting that right is tricky and takes practice.
That Stack phase is all about just seeking hooks into wider conversation. That’s all you are trying to do. Get used to cycling around hooky stacks and trying to open rich topics.
Sometimes you get lucky. The opener is enough and the girl starts talking. So remember: Don’t try to apply pickup formulas to every single set. Tailor pickup philosophy to each individual set and understand pickup ideas work well X% of the time. None of this is guaranteed every time.
If you’re in conversation, then you need to be patting yourself on the back. You’ve done the laborious part. You’ve now been given the chance to really go to work. You have probably 3 to 5 minutes to work those attraction switches and get her to like you (more). The more you work the attraction switches, the more time she will give you.
This is the part of the set that really has an impact on your flake rate. Conversation is the engine of game. This is where game really lives. The more you fire their imagination here, the more they will be interested in meeting you.
Techniques and theories abound in terms of how to build attraction while interacting (conversing) with a girl, such as how and when to sexualize the conversation, how to use eye contact, push/pull routines, teasing and framing, better body language. I can’t possibly cover it all here. I do talk about some aspects of attraction building on the next page though.
Just remember, if she’s talking, she’s investing, so let her talk. It also relieves you from having to rush out all your best material and gives you the chance to store it up. While she’s talking, you also get to think about how you next want to manage the set and also to work out what her values might be in terms of r/K for example.
Also remember that girls often don’t talk like guys. They often don’t follow logical conversation threads as much as we do. So don’t worry if your threads get wildly sidetracked from time to time. It’s annoying to a logical mind, but you have to learn to go with it sometimes, as long as the overall frame isn’t her leading the conversation, but we’re getting away from the basics here.
The close is very simple really. The way you do it depends a lot on how the set has gone and what you thinking you’re aiming for? Do you want a date next week? An instant date right now? A same day lay?
You want an SDL right now? No shit, Tommy Hopscotch. But be a pro. Is this actually the best play? Is she the kind of girl who will do that? Yes, I know you have been told by other PUAs that all girls have it in them to do that, but they’re full of shit. Really what are the chances of YOU getting this from HER right now? How much attraction have you built, what are the logistics open to you, how r/K is she?
Speed is not always the optimal approach and it shouldn’t be the default approach.
Depending on the variables. the close can range from ‘I’m going to take you for a coffee some time. How do I find you on What’s App?’
To, ‘let’s go get a drink over there’, grab her hand, offer your arm for her to link, and lead her away.
Training and Coaching
Check out my free coaching offer here.
No matter how good you are, it’s always good to get a competent third party to watch you in set. I used to and some of my competent friends still ask me to tag along from time to time to see what they are up to. Top sportsmen have coaches. They’re ten times better than their coach. The coach is just spotting them for any bad habits creeping in.
So if you’re a beginner, intermediate or even advanced, old Jimmy here is more than happy to poke his nose in. As far as I can tell, I am still amongst the best in the business and my rates are without doubt the lowest.
Check out my free coaching offer here.