I still have a load of infields to post from summer. Some of my own, some of my students they want me to blog. I’ll try and get round to them this week. Some of them are pretty interesting I suppose.
Prior to the Mystery Method, I did alright with women. When I read the method, it explained to me a lot of what I was doing and more importantly why. ‘Why’ is an important question to ask of any instruction.Understannd the mechanics and you master the skills. For example, I knew girls responded to flippancy, but I didn’t know why. I just thought it was cool and they just like cool. Why do they like it? No idea. To start to think about the biological imperatives behind female behaviour, well, mind blowing. I loved the feeling of fog being lifted.
One thing the method told me to do, which I hadn’t been doing, was the attraction building element of teasing. Treat hot girls like a bratty little sister. Now I used to tease skirt all the time. Skirt I was dating. But bringing it forward into the first 5 minutes of meeting a girl, that was a big change.
Over time, teasing a girl in various on the fly ad hoc ways morphed into a more formulaic and repeatable off the shelf routine. Spawned in the early moments of meeting someone and used as an attraction routine, then carried forward together into the dates as a comfort routine and then well into the rest of the relationship as an intimate and special in joke.
I’d just find some lovable characteristic of the girl, highlight it, get her to accept it, then imagine her as a cartoon version.
I like you’re hair, it’s like a pineapple.
Ha ha, yes.
I said to myself, there goes Pineapple, I wonder where she is going? Probably shopping. For shoes.
Once I can see the cartoon character in my minds eye I build the character from there, with her bit by it. Every time I tease her, I add my exaggerated criticisms to the cartoon’s character makeup. I paint them in this way and they join in. Once they accept their character, you’re well on the way to building a close bond with her. It’s a fun game of my creation that she can come along with. It’s the cheeky little sister position. You laugh at her silliness, but you love and protect her above anything.
I’ve dated them all, the worm, the pineapple, the mouse, the carrot, the monkey, squirrels, coconuts, sloths, the boombox, pandas, passion fruits, the tomatoes and even once, I kid ye not, a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich.
On her date she might then tell me a bit about where she lives. That becomes a part of the cartoon. So for example, the worm told me her apartment was flooded. So I made her like Spongebob. Wormy lives under the sea.
What sound does the character make? How does the character spend it’s time? What dreams does the character have?
It’s an endless game where you build her ridiculous avatar over time, she’ll sometimes respond by building you one and you can go along with that.
She doesn’t care how silly it is or what direction it takes, it’s a cute game between you and her and every time you use it you’re letting her see your tenderness for her.
I think because it was previously a mode of conversation I’d experienced with girlfriends that I always equated it to those special people. I generally tended to do it only really with girls when I particularly liked them, but that’s just me in this case.
I went through my bang everything that’s hot stage in my late teens and early 20s. If I didn’t like a girl but she was up for sex that was fine by me. By the time I found pickup in my late 20s, I was already filtering for emotional connections.