Men that need a wedgie

Q: How do you tell the difference between a Cool Fucker and a Mop Head?

A: You type ‘breakup songs’ into SoundCloud.

Mop Heads write two minutes of ass banditry called ‘This Is Not Goodbye’ with photos of themselves looking sad and reflective.

That wet fart tune is almost a perfect spoof of the beta whine. That particular Mop Head needs a clip round the ear and his head flushing down the bog.

What does the cool fucker do?

He straps his guitar on and growls into his microphone about how she’s fucked up big time, he’s fucking right off and she was a dip shit anyway. He chooses a photo of a girl desperate for him to stay.

Both men are total cunts, but in very different ways.

NB: Yes, I know he’s got 13,960 more listens than I do and can sing in tune. But I’m a banging top lad and popular music is in the toilet these days anyway.

Paul Joseph Watson has a theory on that. Check out the awesome bit at 4:00 where they edit the world’s greatest rock star chortling at Kanye West’s woeful attempt to emulate him.


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