Month: August 2016

URGENT MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: The Full Grant

I’ve made a decision today. It’s been bubbling away for a while and to be honest it’s been a long time coming. For too long I’ve had one foot in and one foot out, never quite able to make the leap. I’ve been on the fence, tried to have the best of both worlds but the truth of the matter is that I’m nearly 40 and it’s time.

I’ve decided to go ‘The Full Grant’.

Some of you will straight away know what this means. And if you do, it’s probably because you have been thinking the same. Now you’re not alone. I am joining you. Bodi is joining us too. Once I said I was doing it, I asked Bodi if he’d join me. At first he said he wouldn’t, but after a little thought, half a day, he’s decided he’s in too. And I think we should all consider it.

WhatsApp Image 2016-08-24 at 23.39.02

This old fella went Full Grant

I’ve always felt I was too young so I only ever dabbled with going ‘Grant’, but I never went ‘full’ and I always ended up back in torn jeans, t-shirt and black jacket. Why not commit? It’s insane not to from a game perspective as the payoff is surely going to be massive. Massive! In my time, I’ve done a few sets in a sports jacket, shirt and tie and I’ve done day game in a suit but I’ve always turned back. Krauser and I used to take suits as a default on our Euro Jaunts and would often be stood in bars in far flung Euro destinations fully fucking suited. It was great for skirt but even better for camaraderie. I remember one night in Sarajevo we just stood at this bar and I said ‘don’t look now our kid, but there’s two bang up skirt who are full on IOIing us, just gawping’. They then pretty much threw themselves at us, drooling at our threads and my conversation.

Both Bodi and Krauser make constant Carey Grant references to me in private conversations all the time. But laziness and fear always held me back from going ‘The Full Grant’. Some days you do just get up and pull on a T Shirt. ‘I’m not leaving the house today so it’s pointless wearing fine clothes, I’ll just wear my trackie bottoms and this old Lacoste’.

Not anymore.

The seed has been in my mind for a while but a few days ago I listened to a Milo podcast with Roger Stone. It’s well worth listening to, it was an awesome podcast about sartorial elegance and it was like they poured water on my seed. Over the last two days every conversation I have had with Bodi has correlated to my realisation that you’re either a man of quality, or you’re not.

agnellli

Gianni Agnelli, author of ‘How to clack top drawer skirt well into your 60s’ reportedly went Full Grant at quite a young age.

They mentioned this other guy in the podcast, Gianni Agnelli. He used to own Fiat or some such. So I Googled him and I have to admit, sitting there in my underpants, I was belittled. I realised that at some point a man –  if he wants to step up to the top tier – has to put away the toys of his childhood and wear his masculinity with pride and charisma.

One of my core themes in game has always been that at some point you have to pack it in with the 7’s and just focus on the 8’s and above. It’s hard because it’s a smaller pool to hunt and harder to succeed at. Often you’ll simply have to turn down sure things with 7s and stick to your guns. You’ll only have 4 lays a year rather than 12 but you’re either in game for notches or you’re in game for quality.

Neither answer is right or wrong. I was just in it for quality. I spent my teens and 20s clacking 7’s and the odd 8 without much game.

As we discussed this quality issue over breakfast (breakfast at 4 p.m.), a young man in his early 20’s walked into the cafe with his beautiful young girlfriend. He wore dark blue shorts with a playful red and blue belt, very expensive brown shoes, a striped blue shirt with very dark blue bow tie, a suit jacket, brown shoes and a fine watch. He wore a hat and had a neatly trimmed moustache.

I was furious. “He’s doing it”, I hissed under my breath at Bodi. “Look at him. He’s gone The Full Grant. Don’t you see, this is what we need to do”.  The kid had balls to dress as he did. He blew us all out of the water and he looked like he owned the street. He didn’t look uneasy or look like he felt silly. He’d adopted the mindset. It was his reality. He’d gone ‘The Full Grant’. And here was I dithering.

I decided there and then. The rules are:

1 – For at least 5 days of the week you must wear a suit jacket or sports jacket. Waistcoats are acceptable too as long as they are not leather.

2 – For at least 3 of those days you must wear a tie as well.

3 – You can have two days dressed down. 1 in slacks and polo, 1 however you like.

If you have a full time job that requires the wearing of a suit, then you’re halfway there. All you have to do is make the most of it. I shudder when I look at my early 20s in London. I’d spent as little as possible on my work clothes and more on my personal clothes. Why on earth did I do that? I wore my work clothes 5 days a week. I should have taken utmost pride in them and grasped the opportunity to ‘Fully Grant’.

As I have already said, for women, external beauty is personality. A woman’s presentation and fashion is an essential key to her core principles. How she walks, holds herself and how she dresses tell you how she views herself in the world and you in her world. Well cloth doesn’t make you a man of quality; it’s just often a mark of a man of quality. Core principles and personality traits are often reflected in how we present ourselves. If you dress well you apocalyptically nuke 99% of all other men off the street, since they all dress like pencil necks.

Life is meant to be fun. My girl dresses insanely well. She’s already gone ‘The Full Hepburn’, so I need to step up. People stare at us when we’re together because she looks like she’s off the French Riviera and I look like I’m in Metallica or a car mechanic or something. I’ve no idea how I got her. I opened her while wearing a Hawaiian shirt and flip flops.

Men that need a wedgie

Q: How do you tell the difference between a Cool Fucker and a Mop Head?

A: You type ‘breakup songs’ into SoundCloud.

Mop Heads write two minutes of ass banditry called ‘This Is Not Goodbye’ with photos of themselves looking sad and reflective.

That wet fart tune is almost a perfect spoof of the beta whine. That particular Mop Head needs a clip round the ear and his head flushing down the bog.

What does the cool fucker do?

He straps his guitar on and growls into his microphone about how she’s fucked up big time, he’s fucking right off and she was a dip shit anyway. He chooses a photo of a girl desperate for him to stay.

Both men are total cunts, but in very different ways.

NB: Yes, I know he’s got 13,960 more listens than I do and can sing in tune. But I’m a banging top lad and popular music is in the toilet these days anyway.

Paul Joseph Watson has a theory on that. Check out the awesome bit at 4:00 where they edit the world’s greatest rock star chortling at Kanye West’s woeful attempt to emulate him.