Republishing this from my post on The 3 Bromigos last week, just in case some of you missed it. For future reference, I intend to post mainly directly game stuff on 3 Bromigos (how to make a girl into a wing, things to do on a date, etc) and here more lifestyle, general chit chat or game attitude (stuff like ‘why guys with game don’t fuck fat chicks’), music I write will be posted here and and just general ‘Jimmy as a cartoon character’ stuff.
I will break all these rules within one week and you simply won’t have a clue what I am up to. To confuse you even more, here’s a photo of a pair of Converse, for seemingly no reason whatsoever.
I remember, many years ago, before he died, my Grandfather said something to me that at the time didn’t really make an impact. However, it now resonates somewhat.
I remember the house I was in when he said it, but I can’t remember if it was pre or post Uni, so it was in either my late teens or early 20s.
I was getting ready to go somewhere and my granddad was joshing me about being a big girl because I was combing my hair in the mirror or whatever. My dad joined in the banter and said something along the lines of ‘it’s not like in your day dad, if the clothes and the hair aren’t right, no woman will want to go with him’. My granddad fired back ‘No. In my day it was much simpler
Wait for it.
…we just had to marry them’.
Let that one sink in.
When I think back to all my grandparents’ friends, all the older people I know, even for my parents’ generation, marriage at a young age was largely the rule. All the anecdotes, wedding photos and marriage licenses tell a story of a union of young men and women in their early 20s. This was recently brought home to me as I researched my family tree to claim my foreign citizenship (my mother is not English) and all the marriage certificates I had to collect (to prove how a Brinxjat became a Jambone), were unions between young men and young women. When I got back three generations, the kids were as young as 16 when they got married.
It dawns on me then that in terms of sex, men today, as long as they don’t get married, are the ones who have got a lot to thank feminism for.
The more recent waves of feminism demanded that there are no gender differences and those who think there are get quickly dealt with. Any sniff of ‘gendered expectations’ and he who suggests them will be promptly investigated and his employers will be pressured to fire him.
So a generation of young women were sent out into the world and encouraged to act out their lives more like men. In a lot of ways this may be good, but in a lot of ways it may be not so good.
If they behaved like men by, let’s say they drank 4 pints of lager on a night out; many would not dare say ‘that’s not what girls should be doing, their bodies can’t take alcohol like a man’s can’. Many would say ‘It’s a new world, girls are different today and that’s the way it should be’.
Girls were encouraged into male domains and behaviours from which they were previously discouraged.
Many young women no doubt did really well from the new deal. I know two women who are now in their mid 30s who spent their youths studying and working and now have really amazing careers. One is a marketing manager in the music industry and the other a scientist for a big German drugs company. They have both done very well.
New found freedoms weren’t used just to become scientists though. The new woman enjoyed all kinds of adventures. In the UK we got the age of the ‘ladette’ (type drunk English girl into Google images and believe me, what you see is not rare, uncharacteristic behaviour). These new women like to drink, be merry and ‘enjoy themselves’ in their youth. All great advice which I applaud, because I do think that everyone should be free to behave as they choose as long as they don’t hurt anyone else. Just understand there are consequences.
For a lot of young women, even if they didn’t go so far as the ladette crowd, these new freedoms meant often simple things like a drink with friends, going travelling, going to University, running up a bit of debt and, now we’re getting to my point – also having casual sexual acquaintances. Just like men do.
Science gave women the pill and feminism and the welfare state gave them the social platform to use it without stigma or consequence.
So what we have experienced since my father’s generation is a sea of young men and women who are equally free to ‘enjoy themselves’ to varying degrees. And that included sex.
Now, even this is no big deal. But remember if you go out and get plastered and sleep with people you don’t know, sometimes in the morning, you regret what you did the night before. That’s not rape. That’s called the consequences of being careless. Since women are just children, we can’t hold them accountable for their actions so now we have expanded rape laws to cover their backs if they have drunken sex.
Feminists saying women are equal, then constantly demanding laws that treat women like children is one of the clearest possible signs that women are in fact junior to men.
Let’s identify three rough points on the slut spectrum. This is not scientific or some deep game insight of mine, it’s just a rough and ready sketch to put things into some kind of perspective.
The low end
Let’s say this includes at it’s high points, the full on sluts, sex maniacs and nymphos and passes downwards to the kind of girls who go on adult dating sites, down to those who just sleep around enthusiastically. I’ve known girls like this, maybe I wouldn’t call them sluts, but they are heading towards it. Take the girls I threesomed a couple of years ago on New Year. They met me when I was on holiday, chatted to me on Facebook, visited me in London and enthusiastically fucked me and my mate over three nights, while we filmed it. I never saw them again and they had done this kind of party a few times. It was no big deal to them.
This is the kind of girl I tend to avoid these days. If I stop a girl in the street and she gives me the slut vibe, I tend to leave it at that.
By the standards of the 1940s these girls would maybe considered loose, but these days, they’re not considered sluts. And they’re not sluts by any stretch. They are like most of the girlfriends I and most guys have ever had. They probably have 3 to, I don’t know, let’s say 10 sexual partners before settling down? They are not out to cram as much cock in as possible before they have to settle down. They are just competing in a tough dating market where in order to convince a guy to buy their eggs; they have to show the goods. They understand that they may have a few boyfriends in their 20s and they accept a few will be just for the moment. They hope and intend that at some point one of them will stick.
Let’s say their tolerance for this deal ranges from enthusiastic and deliberate to accepting but reluctant. They’re not like the sluts, they’re not rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of a train of men, it’s a naughty perk of their 20s to some degree, but they have some self-respect and have their minds on what lies on the other side.
I pick up these girls often. My last few girlfriends have been on this part of the scale. These girls want boyfriends and husbands, they’re maybe not in a massive rush, but they don’t want to sleep around massively either.
The high end
This is the end at which I try to hunt. This is where my current girlfriend sits. The average of these girls does not sleep around at all. Three sexual partners by their wedding day would be a huge embarrassment to them. Every man they accept, not even into their beds, but merely as a romantic option, is carefully considered. These women can do this usually because they are smoking hot. Men will accept a high barrier to entry because their eggs are of the highest quality. If a restaurant is really good, I’ll queue to get in. If it’s really good, I’ll queue an hour, because what is on offer is top drawer.
You are well vetted before you get into this girl’s bed. They don’t get turned over by guys like me.
This is not my way of saying it takes me ages to get laid by the way. I know a few top pickup guys who have had the same experience with the Yowzers of this world and after months, have failed to succeed. A large part of the reason for this failure is the realization that, yes, they can bed the girl, but it would require a huge breach of trust, they’d have to make commitments that they know they won’t fulfill. The level of comfort you must build with these girls is to the point where a good man will be cheating a close friend if he continues. A sneaky, low value man is sniffed out by these highly intuitive girls very quickly. This is why a lot of pickup guys (and this includes some trainers I knew) just can’t get the hot girls, because they just don’t have the inner game.
NB: Remember this is not a scale of looks, it’s just a discussion on sluttery. There are tonnes of super hot sluts. Hot girls sit at either side of this scale, as do ugly girls. In order to be very choosy though, the girl tends to have to be hot. In order to get a boyfriend, the fatty tends to have to put out a bit easier.
So back to my post: In terms of sleeping around, on whatever level, these days, if a man can do it, a girl can. Women are encouraged to stay single, sleep around and have fun ion their 20s.
What is clear to me is that we have experienced a lot of social change since my grandparents married at the age of 20 in 1940.
Poor old Granddad! I’m sure he loved Nana but Jesus did he miss out! All this equality is great for guys on the dating scene. I call for more of the same! If it means hot young women are willing to sleep around without asking for anything (marriage) in return, then I am a supporter. Many girls will happily sleep with us within 2 or 3 dates or less if we want it and many will be at peace wholly with the idea of calling it a day shortly after.
Yes, the downside, I know, classy women who aren’t apple shaped drunkards are on the decline, but we can still find them (I tend to have to leave the UK to be honest). When we do find them, they are just as thirsty for cool guys as cool guys are for classy ladies.
I’ve dated a string of charming, beautiful women in their prime and they gleefully move on as I replace them effortlessly with another one a few months later. At the moment I have an amazing girlfriend who I have been with for one year and I actually find myself in the ludicrous position where I am frequently turning down sex with beautiful, smart, gentle and fun loving young girls.
My turn down count is probably around 50. And I mean turn down. ‘No, I won’t sleep with you, let me introduce you to my friend’. My turn down count is probably 50 times higher than my granddads lay count!
50 years ago if a man wanted a woman in his bed, he damn well had to marry her!
One day, I’ll possibly grow tired of my freedoms and threesomes and stick with someone I think is worth it. Jolia could well be it guys, she has totally changed my position on monogamy, women and marriage. There just does not exist a woman of a higher quality. She’s as good as it gets, looks, brains, manners, upbringing, the lot. I could see myself never leaving her. She is top of the tree and she loves and admires me. She is not shy about admitting it. She understands she is lucky to have me.
Whatever happens, I am in no rush. Look at Clooney – hot even in his 50s. How many lusted after Hollywood heart throbs are in their 30s and 40s? (By the way, my girlfriend is hotter than Clooney’s. Just thought I’d throw that out there).
It’s fucking brilliant being a lad. And I’m a right fucking lad at that. We won the lottery on that one as long as we’re smart enough to protect ourselves from the oppressive feminism.
‘You’re no George Clooney Jimmy’ Sigh. Yeah I’ve heard that before, well done, have a biscuit. OK, we may not all be George Clooney, but all we have to do is stay in shape, accumulate a little wealth (that’s easy to do with no wife and kids to pay for), dress well, travel a bit, cultivate a few cool friends and have an interesting career, have some accomplishments. It’s that simple. If you do this and stay single, then hot young women will flock to you for years and years to come and now we’re now all equal we can have low maintenance, low obligation, casual affairs and jump into bed within a few easy dates if that’s what we want. Just set your tolerance on the slut-o-meter and go for it.
If you wish to be discerning, like I do, just make sure you identify those mid-range nice girls who are neither sluts nor drunks. They will take a little longer to find I admit, but the deal will still be the same, you certainly won’t have to marry them.
To enjoy my dating life in the 1950s my Granddad would have had to have been Errol Flynn.
So feminism has been great for guys in the dating market. Got them off the marriage hook really didn’t it.
Not so good for girls though.
Women don’t age as well as men; they in fact age quite badly. I know, I know, it’s horrendous of me to say this and I should be hanged for saying it. However, even after you hang me, here is the kicker… what I just said… it will still be true. You could hang me twice I suppose, but you won’t be changing the fact of the matter, you’re pretty much stuck with it. Laws of nature I am afraid. You can deny it I suppose. You could use my head as a football too, might be fun. Still, that wall is coming at 30 ladies, like it or not.
*Before I go on. Yes, you can find examples of women who are still beautiful in their later years. Audrey Hepburn was one. Thandie Newton is another. Please remember that unbelievably rare exceptions don’t make the rule. These are rare, rare exceptions in a sea of 40 year old women who look like baked potatoes.
**Also, all those women mentioned looked damned hotter in their early 20s. The premise remains, a woman’s external beauty degrades with age.
I feel bad for the girls when they get older. They hit the wall in their early 30s and decide it’s time to settle down… so they enthusiastically put on their designer dress and Jimmy Choos, just like Sex and the City taught them, and they hit the dating scene. They’re now gonna nab themselves a ‘Big’, just like Carrie did. They want successful, handsome, alpha male types who looks great in Calvin Kleins. These guys will want to date her because they are the same age as her and they will be turned on by her ‘strength’ and her fantastic career, because we are equal and that’s what men look for in a woman. Men seek strength in a woman. We all know that what these excellent men want more than anything is a apple shaped, mid-30s middle manager in a designer dress and expensive shoes whose been banged like a drum for almost 20 years.
All the best guys are too busy dating all the enthusiastically sexually available 24 year olds who are much, much hotter, just as intelligent, far more playful and conveniently aren’t on the verge of end-stage liver disease. Who seriously wants to date an angry potato shaped old bird when you could date a gentle, passionate, beautiful young woman who genuinely admires you?
So what do these old girls do when they hit 30? Well that’s another blog post, I think first they hit the dating sites and then after 10 years of getting nowhere they realise they have missed their chance and that pre menopausal women hold very little value on the dating market. I don’t know, time will tell, but I’d guess bitterness will sink in and in the absence of being able to find a man to blame, I’d hope they will become feminists, telling the next generation of young women to do exactly as they did, that way my son can bang his way to legend just like his old man.
So, I am signed up to feminism. Men and women are exactly the same and equal. Equal yes. Equal in every way and to say anything different, even if accurate, would make me a sexist.
Who am I to argue with the world and more importantly, in this climate, WHY ON EARTH WOULD I?!
Let me leave you with a humorous photo of an emancipated modern woman, who I applaud, asleep on a kerb using a pizza for a pillow. Enjoy.