The Jolia Dilemma – A trip to Switzerland with a beautiful young woman

Well it’s been a fairly frantic few weeks. It started with an unexpected cessation of my last contract. The whole organisation was incredibly badly run, very amateurish from top to bottom. My boss wanted to blame some failings on me and I was quite happy to take the fall. I was quite happy with the three months work I got from them. It’s paid for my next 12 months of holidays. I was only sitting the contract out through politeness.

He told me if I didn’t like the way things were run then I knew where the door was. He didn’t expect me to accept his offer. When I did he chased me out of the building begging me to come back. It was very sad to see. I told him:

‘Why would I come back when I don’t need the rest of the money and I am now going to go to Switzerland to spend time with an amazing young woman?’

He had no answer for that.

Some lake in Zurich. No different to any lake or any of many other cities I have visited, but five times more expensive.

Some lake in Zurich. No different to any lake or any of many other cities I have visited, but five times more expensive.

So Switzerland it was. I packed up my stuff, jumped in my car and hit the road. Jolia is a Serbian girl with family in Switzerland. I knew her only slightly before this trip, having been on four dates with her earlier this summer. She was in a relationship with a young man and was finding it hard work. A week after meeting me she had ended the relationship. It’s possible that something may happen between us but that is by the by, this trip was just a chance for us to hang out and have fun.

It can often be the case that different people have different expectations and requirements for a relationship. The girl I recently went to Seville with, Carrot, for example, she does not want a boyfriend or a commitment of any kind. She doesn’t sleep around, she is very selective and to some degree chaste, but she doesn’t want obligation. She doesn’t want a man asking her where she is, when she is next going to meet him. She wants a good man in her life on a casual, low maintenance basis. She doesn’t mind about other women, she assumes I have other women, it’s not any of her business. We’re friends with benefits.

Jolia is a different kettle of fish. It’s all or nothing with her. She gets involved emotionally and sexually only when it’s full commitment on both sides. She makes her man the centre of her world, he is very, very important to her and she expects the same in return. If I get involved with Jolia, there would be no other women and not even any coffee dates with other women. They are her terms. I am free to put forward my terms too, I am just telling you what hers are.

So my current dating dilemma is between two very beautiful young women in their early 20s. Carrot is open and free and Jolia is close and committed.

I am swinging towards Jolia. She is passionate and intense. She’s like a strong coffee. Carrot is like a lemonade. Light and refreshing. It’s an interesting decision, and it doesn’t take any account of the women I will meet next months when I go to Croatia (Zagreb) and Hungary (Budapest) with my friends Mark and Samuel.

I can’t get Jolia out of my mind. I’d be surrendering maybe several years of my life, the final years of my 30s, to this woman. It’s a lot to give. To be exclusive for that time. She is also giving a lot and she would do it not just willingly, but enthusiastically. Jolia is wife and mother material, it would be a very serious relationship where a young woman gives me her heart and soul. Not just just falls for me heart and soul, for that has happened many times, but pursues her life along the lines of the two of us. If I get into this I have to be prepared to take it the whole way.

She knows me, she knows my situation, she knows what she would be getting herself into. We’ll see what happens, I’ll be spending a week with her in September. There will be her, Carrot and 100s of other women in the same town. Will the allure of Jolia be enough to pull me away from those other options. That’s the real test.

Switzerland? Zurich? My advice would be don’t bother. £10 for a beer and £20 or a salad. You’re going to be paying a premium to be there and what it offers in return is not as good or any different from many other cities. Why pay a premium to drive a Mondeo?

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