I bet you’re surprised to hear from me, aren’t you? Didn’t expect this did you! I bet you thought I was dead.
Well, in fact, I did die, but I rose from the dead after my mates Krauser and Warsaw Al raised me from the dead in a voodoo ceremony. They were actually trying to raise some bloke called Pinochet but Warsaw Al did the dance wrong and they got me and Pinocchio.
So I thought I’d check in with you rabble and make sure you hadn’t fallen into disarray in my absence. I thought if I started typing, the gold would come out, but so far, I’ll be honest with you, it’s not looking good.
The world has changed a lot hasn’t it, this last two years. The streets have dried up a bit, but despite this I’m seeing a few girls. One of them is even quite nice. Can’t say a wife if popping out at me yet, but I’ve a few years left before I have to resort to hair transplants and surgery.
I’m currently living between Zagreb, Belgrade and Lancashire. Spending time with my mum, who is quite old now, and my nephew who I am helping write and record his debut album.
I’ve been busy with a multitude of projects, not least the album, so have neglected this blog and pickup. In fact, I was about to delete it, but I logged in a few weeks ago and saw a few coaching emails I hadn’t answered and thought maybe I shouldn’t call it a day quite yet. I took a client on last week and probably my talks with him will give me a few ideas for blog posts.
I’ll tell you something that pisses me off. There’s a raft of pickup coaches now who are nothing short of an assortment of dorks. If you want to buy a dork, google ‘day game coaching’. They don’t know fuck all about game. And they’re taking plenty of cash to ‘teach’ people. They don’t get laid, they’ve never had a quality girl. I saw a well known dating coach in Belgrade last year and the girl he was on a date with was fucking horrific. She looked like she’d had a Rottweiler thrown at her.
Someone said something to me the other day that they discovered that when they disagree with women on dating apps, he gets more responses. I can believe that. Here’s something I have been saying since I taught my first boot-camp in 1964:
‘Attraction is created in the push’
The pull is more a logistical necessity. You can’t just keep pushing or she will fall off the settee.
What else have I been up to? Erm… well, I bumped into Troy Francis and James Tusk in Warsaw earlier this year and I liked them. Both dickheads, but I like them. I don’t include them in my dorks list. Troy is even older than me, so how he’s still rolling with the young guns I do not know. When I met him he was on his way to a nightclub!
I went to Moscow in the height of lockdown and liked that. It was freezing and nowhere was open but I got to speak Russian to people who were selling me coffee from take away counters. I stood on Red Square, got the passport stamp.
I drunk live streamed with Jabba a few times if anyone saw that. Fucking hell that wasn’t a good idea, what were we thinking? We’ll probably do it again though.
Actually a point of genuine help I may be able to give – I’m helping a friend apply for a residency in Serbia. It’s actually not easy at all because there is no published way to do it. I don’t think even the Serbian authorities know how it’s done, but I happened upon a local contact who knows how to do it, so if anyone is trying to escape the West and would be interested in Serbia, I’d be happy to let you know more. Just email me. I am actually half thinking of setting up a little side hustle guiding people through the process.
Have you seen Burnley since Vincent Kompany took over? You’re not laughing now ya!
Anyway, that’s it for now. I’ll hopefully be posting some better stuff soon.