The Next Set

It’s been a brilliant week since we left Tallinn and came to Sofia. It’s been fantastic. A fun town and no mistake. So many stories to tell and lots of new friends. I rate Sofia as being among the best places I have ever been, for both pickup and simply just for fun.

I'll never get my 5 for the day at this rate
I’ll never get my 5 for the day at this rate

The last two days have been, for whatever reason, dry streets and dull sets. It sometimes is like this, game, it comes in peaks and troughs.

There’s a beautiful truth to game. No matter what just happened, today, this week, no matter how bad the last set, no matter that it’s been three days since you really liked a girl, no matter the only girl who thrilled you this week was the only one who didn’t agree to meet up, or the date you just had was boring, or you over escalated, or she turned out to be playing you, no matter all this… the next set could simply be the home run.

The next set can be the one that you end up going to the jazz concert with on the spur of the moment, she could be the one who ends up coming to meet you for pancakes on the square tomorrow lunchtime, she could be the one who escalates nicely over the next few days, the super cute 20 year old one who comes to your apartment at 2pm this Sunday for a six hour marathon sex session in which you tie her up, whip her and cover her in yoghurt. She could be the one who comes to London to visit you at New Year with her model girlfriend and you end up spending the weekend in a threesome making porn flicks with your best mate, she could be the girl you date for 3 years and love every mousie minute. Or even, she could be your wife. The mother of your children. Seriously. The next corner could deliver the mother of your children.

Every girlfriend I have had in the last ten years was at one point the next set. And they were no different from the last. The photo-shoot model in Manchester who I saw slip on the dance-floor. As she walked past me I grabber her arm, pulled her in and growled ‘you’re a clumsy bitch but I still fancy you’, ended up in my bed for a year. No different to the girl I opened 30 minutes prior who I just don’t even remember now.

It’s fantastic to think how there is no way of knowing. They all begin with an approach, an open and … that’s it.

These days, when I get on a plane, I always spend a moment with the following though.

‘I am about to spend two weeks in X location. I’ll open 30 girls. Five will end up on dates. One of them will end up in my bed. Once she does she’ll be in my life for a long time. She’ll become a part of my life. I’ll care about her. My life path will be influenced by her to some degree and she will be someone I make plans with and around. She will be important and cherished. And right now, I haven’t even met her. We’re strangers. But I am going to go out and make it happen. And a year from now, we’ll be close friends, unthinkable that we don’t have each other to lean on.’

They all start with that next set.

So tomorrow, I’ll hit the streets with Johan again. It might be a dry day, it may be three hours of so so uninspiring conversations. You glance up and down the street, where are the damn targets today? It’s been a couple of hours and not a sniff. The last ten sets have been grey bones. Can I really be bothered doing another?

The magic truth that can’t be taken from you is that the next set can be the whole holiday’s worth in one go, she could be the next fantastic three years of your life – or like me – that innocuous set on an average day in Zagreb could your entire future. And you won’t even remember the rest.


  1. Inspiring stuff mate!

    Sofia has always been on the hit list for me.. but I’ve heard it empties out mid-summer and everyone flocks to the coast like old Zagreb. It seems cheap too .. I can’t resist a £30 flight and cheap apartment in mid – August though.. might have to take the plunge!

    1. Even when the towns ’empty’ there are still a few stops a day you can do. Two weeks will return a new girlfriend. Sofia is definitely worth a trip. Though the second week was very dry as it rained all week.

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