Open, Stack, Converse

Just some notes blended together from conversations I’ve had with various people recently. It’s worth putting out there, though remember these are observations of various peoples’ unique situations and current levels of ability in game. It’s not a comprehensive deliberation on how to do street pickup.

We talked about a set in terms of three components. The Open, The Stack and The Conversation.

The Open – Focus on speaking slowly and assuredly.

It’s that little gem again. Unless you’re exceptionally talented with game, you’re going to have to speak slowly and it’s going to feel uncomfortable I’m afraid. I don’t think people realize how slowly when I say this. It should be slow enough you feel a little bit uncomfortable. That discomfort is you thinking they will lose interest and walk off. And that’s the whole point. Cool fucking fuckers don’t think people will lose interest and walk off. Who in God’s name would lose interest in me if I were to speak to them? No one sane. I am the guy who did ‘Cover Me‘ better than Springsteen himself. There I’ve said it. It’s been the elephant in the room for a while, but I’ve said it. I’m better than Bruce Springsteen. I’m glad I’ve got that weight off my mind. I feel like you’ve all been waiting for me to acknowledge this and now I have we can all finally move on.

People don’t lose interest in me when I speak and they don’t lose interest in you when you speak. Because we’re cool. That’s one of the reasons slow, considered speech is very important during an open.

It also has to be clear and concise. Don’t umm, don’t ahh, don’t repeat your points. State it calmly and clearly with a slightly cocky smile and maybe a touch of swagger.

I see a lot of the following:

‘Hey, hi, sorry, yeah, I err, saw you over there and thought you were beautiful’.

‘Thank you’

‘Yeah, I was over there with my friends and I err, saw you walking past and I err said, she’s really nice’.

‘Thank you’

‘And I was over there and said, I have to speak to her…. you’re good looking’.

‘OK’

I wonder how many people pour effort into the perfect opener, when just as important is how it’s delivered. I remember going out with Tony T one night and my opener all night had to be ‘Between a cute little kitten and cheeky little puppy dog… which would you rather kick over your neighbour’s fence’. A clearly ridiculous opener, but what mattered were my facial expressions, exaggerated body languages, cocky indifference and comical enthusiasm. It was the nature of the man that got people interested, not so much the content of what he said.

The Goal  – The goal of the open is just to get them to stop moving and listen for just a moment. Ten or twenty seconds.

1 – Slow down pace, especially in the opener. Rushed speech is a sign of insecurity. Experiment with intonations as well, even if you know you’re going to burn a few sets doing this. Make the scenario compelling and vibrant, remember it’s never happened before. You are just as surprised as her. This way you don’t sound scripted.

2 – Be clear and concise about the opener. Give the facts, don’t repeat yourself or overdo the explanations.

3 – Make eye contact, smile, get the green light and then go for the stack. There’s a moment in a set when you deliver the compliment or the observation and she laughs and says something like ‘thank you’. You should take this as a mini hook point, a little green light. A little bit of pressure is off you now. Accept it. Pause a moment to see if she will contribute anything further and then if she doesn’t, simply confidently deliver your stack. She has basically said to you ‘please carry on, this is cool’. She’s not asking you to rush your lines, it’s your insecurity making you rush your lines.

The Stack

The stack, as if anyone didn’t know, is the beginning of a new conversation thread to move the conversation from a point of impending stutter. I use it largely after the opener is well received at the point where something needs to be said to fill the gap. Most of the time people fall back on ‘so where are you from’. No one wants to be stuck in yet another boring interview conversation, telling people mundane things about their life. Take them somewhere fun and unexpected.

Goal – The goal of ‘El Stacko’ is to move la chica away from the limited conversational value of the opener and begin to coax them into a real conversation (where the content of your conversation will begin to matter more).

1 – Stick to observations not questions.

2 – Make the observations fun and playfully challenging – but don’t overdo it. ‘I know though, that you’re not from round here. The local girls are small and cute, you’re tall and giraffy. So I suppose you’re studying here’.

3 – You dress cool, your hat looks like a marshmallow.

Don’t go overboard on the teasing. I remember times when the gang were all but competing as to who could make the most ridiculous animal comparison in set. If one guy compared her to an ‘angry cat on a space hopper’, then the next guy would be ecstatic when he used ‘wiggly worm in a designer spacesuit’, only to be raised two sets later by ‘Republican voting chipmunk, eating popcorn, waiting for the results of it’s driving test’.

‘Oh that set was awesome, I compared her to a multi-coloured llama sitting on a bean bag floating on a the sea somewhere just off the coast of the Florida Keys’.

‘Lol, what did she say after that’

‘Oh I don’t know, I walked off after that to tell you lot about that llama thing’.

‘But.. wasn’t she really hot?’

‘I can’t remember, look, did you not hear what I said about the llama thing?’

Conversation

Goal – Get her to open up, to learn a bit about you, to commit some of herself to you. Get her to realise that your value is high (slightly higher than hers) and that you’re genuinely interesting and interested in her.

There’s a lot to discuss here and much more than I can put in a blog post.

1 – Without being too challenging, or too much interview style or intrusive try to dig out information about her, why she does things. Try to find out about her background and her values. Probing this will show her you’re interested while at the same time gathering data on, for example, how r selected she is. rs and Ks respond to different attraction switches to different degrees.

2 – Talk about yourself and life in DHV terms, let her walk away with a firm moniker.

3 – Don’t surrender the cocky, playful vibe you’ve developed, build on it.

Just three weeks to go now and I should be done with this current contract and ready to hit the streets again. Late March should be the beginning of my game season so those who have requested coaching, I’ll be in touch. In the meantime, get yourself a small cam and record a few sets. Take a look at yourself for basic mistakes.