If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!

Look, he's wearing a suit and there a business district in the background. That means he's pure evil.
Look, he’s wearing a suit and there’s a business district in the background. That means he’s pure evil!

It’s alright for those corporate fat cats isn’t it! They’re making money hand over fist them cunts. Those guys who run and own the big business and make all the money, man if the world were fair, we should all get to be like them. It’s not fair; they make all the money and freeze everyone else out. Companies should be the property of everyone; we should all be able to own a part because the world belongs to everyone.

As far as I can see, the people who own big businesses are largely the shareholders. Well, anyone can become a shareholder, they just go and buy some shares in something they believe in and they own a piece.

If I work hard and invest then I will be rewarded for my risks accordingly. I will become a fat cat just by buying in.

It will only take me about a week to set up an account and make a first purchase. It’s perfectly legal, perfectly fair and perfectly easy. Anyone can do it. What’s more, I’ll do it in an ISA and all my gains will be tax free. An ISA makes an enormous difference to the growth of an investment over time and also to the final pay-outs. It’s got to be in an ISA or it’s almost not worth it.

I am not a qualified financial advisor; so I am not allowed to give financial advice to anyone else because the Government hasn’t given me an official stamp. That means I cannot read properly, I have no concept of what goods and services companies provide and I am totally unable to make any considered judgement on how well a company may do in the future.

I can talk about what I do for myself though and some options I am currently looking at, for me, are the following.

This account is quite a good one because I could trade at set times and it costs me £2 instead of £15, so that’s an extra £13 going into my pension every month.

If I want someone else to select my shares for me, then there are guys that do that too.

Both those options are in an ISA. I dip my toe in and have a dabble over the next year or so and leave it to bubble away for a few years to see what happens.

I must remember that shares go up and down all the time. Sometimes I will look and I will have lost thousands of pounds, I must just forget about it. Six months later I might look and I’ve made thousands of pounds. I must forget about that too, as long as it’s going upwards over time, then I’m doing better than pissing the money away in night clubs.

Instead of going to nightclubs I am going to learn street pickup and meet girls that way. The girls are hotter, easier to meet and there’s no cost of drinks and entry. Plus the music is better.

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